What Death Makes My Brain Feel Like. Not My Death, Other People's Death. Well Now Maybe My Own...

So I am awoken this morning (actually I lie, it was afternoon, but barely afternoon) by a phone call from my mother. My childhood pastor passed away this morning. I held it together on the phone w/her because for some unknown reason I didn't want her to know I was crying. Maybe I didn't want her to feel bad for telling me over the phone? But when I hung up I started crying and tried to pull it together so Lily wouldn't see. Then I see a text from one of my best friends telling me that her Grandma passed away.

So as the tears are semi drying up, my brain jumps into action.

My immediate reaction is OMG! I HAVE GOT TO STRAIGHTEN UP MY LIFE!! Life is too short to piss away my time w/video games, FB apps and not cleaning my house. Ok I am gonna get right on this growing up thing. Here I go w/that SuperHouseWifeMom bit again!! Watch out world!! Here I come to rule you!!!

Then in typical spazzy brain fashion I go into full reverse. NO!! I MUST ENJOY MY LIFE AND THOSE IN IT!! Life is too short to piss away my time w/cleaning and doing stuff!

So at this point I don't know what I want to do. So I've selected a happy medium of cleaning the house, FB and playing w/Lily. And for all of you who are like “Well Toby you shouldn't play so many FB apps”, I have deleted a lot of them! :) So nyeh!

But anyway as I'm enjoying my “happy medium” that little asshole voice in the back of my head goes “Well it comes in 3's who will be next?!” So then I go through a little freakout while thinking of possibilities and weighing which one would be worse. So after an hour, I've gone through like 38 people in my life who could possibly die and how horrible I would feel if they did. Needless to say I wanted to just down 3 Tylenol PM and crawl under the covers and hide from the horrible Death Monster that is stalking my loved ones and now maybe even me. Oh why god why?!

This tiny peak inside my brain was brought to you by Maxwell House. I hope you have enjoyed!! 

 BTW This is what you get when you google Scary Death Monster...