Ok so pretty bad week overall. By the end of night Wednesday I knew there was a panic attack brewing. I kept waiting for it. All day Thursday I did nothing until I had to go to work because I knew it was coming. And it didn't. Eventually I thought that I had progressed quite well in my quest against anxiety. I was wrong. Painfully wrong.
It all started when I decided to paint my nails. I painted them silver but decided they needed to be more colorful. So I tried adding bright blue polish to the tips like a French. Ugly. So I decided to just paint over top the silver with the blue. It looked pretty good. Here is where the problem starts.
I have no patience. So I start doing stuff. Lo and behold I smudge one. Then another and another. Grrrrrr. Why does this always happen to me? Oh yeah...ADD.
See this is where I miss my meds. I could totally paint my nails and patiently wait for them to dry. Without meds I'm a 4 y/o on a Pixie Stix bender. And I probably wouldn't be typing such short paragraphs. Moving on...
So I keep smudging them thinking I can make like some cool design. Ha ha. No! It looked like I let a 2 y/o paint my nails. So I need to get this crap off my hands due to the fact that I have to work tomorrow morning. So I go upstairs and am immediately gripped in fear. As usual this AM after showering I closed the shower curtain. Never a problem before. But the cute froggie shower curtain I just purchased and hung is not see through. Which obviously means a serial killer is lurking behind it.
Great! That's when the panic attack starts. And as I have been doing in recent weeks when the attacks start, I begin to talk myself out of them. I sound like an idiot, but it has been working. But it's an up and down process. I start feeling better and then the fear creeps in. All of the sudden the cute froggies looked evil as hell. They totally looked like they wanted to eat me and I ran.
You win this time frogs, but someday I'll be stronger...
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