Trials of Toby

Trials of Toby

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

Gathering My Zombie Fighters and Canned Goods!!!

 **OK THERE IS SUPPOSED TO BE A PIC HERE, BUT THE SERVER KEEPS REJECTING IT.  I SWEAR IT'S NOT PORN!  HOPEFULLY I CAN ADD IT LATER.  :(

What is with all these dead birds?!

They estimated something like 4,000-5,000 dead birds fell from the sky in Arkansas and now they found 500 more in Louisiana.

This scares me tremendously. I mean can you imagine if this happens in PA? Especially anywhere remotely near me? I can only imagine the scenarios that my brain will come up with.

First I will be like OMG the apocalypse has hit York County!! The end of the world is nearing! I will find all my loved ones and try to convince them all that we have to take shelter somewhere safe. Somewhere like Ray's shop in Windsor. This place is like 6 floors and made of solid brick. And there are so many rooms we can hide in. Can you hide from an apocalypse? I will have to investigate this. But at least you could hide from the thousands of bird carcasses raining down on South Central PA.

Then I will move on to OMFG these birds are carrying some sort of disease. It's like Swine Flu, Mad Cow and that other bird disease that I can't remember all rolled into one. It's gotta be contagious right? I must find thousands of those Michael Jackson face masks and give them to everyone I know. Except for the people I don't like. They can fend for themselves. Just kidding! I will sell them to the people I don't like for $50 each! I will be rich. Hopefully I won't contract this horrible disease and can enjoy my millions!

Then that thought will morph into OMFG WTF? I bet these birds have some kind of zombie disease. Oh no!!!!! What will I do? I don't know how to defeat zombies!! I'm not good at Nazi Zombies or Dead Rising and I've never even seen more than 30 minutes of any Resident Evil movies! Why oh why did I not pay attention to Bubbahotep one of the zillion times Zak has watched it!! Wait...I did learn some stuff from watching Zombieland. Um...double tap. That's all I remember! Crap!!! Ok I will draft Zak, Corey, Lily, Beav, Josh and Shawn to be my zombie fighting team! They are all good at killing zombies in Black Ops! I will just put them in a circle all w/their backs facing me and they can protect me!! Well maybe not Lily, she is usually used as a decoy when playing Black Ops. Never mind!! Ok I this plan will work!

All of this because some dead birds? And I'm not buying that “They were scared by fireworks” bit. I didn't buy for the Arkansas Bird Rain Disaster and I'm still not buying it for the Louisiana Winged Creature Hurricane of 2011. I can't believe I'm going to spend the next year watching the sky waiting for dead birds to come hurling towards me. It's bad enough I run and scream when a real live non zombie disease carrying bird comes within 10 feet of me in any direction. Now I have to worry about this? FML...I may never leave my house again.

So which of the 3 options that I've suggested makes sense to you?

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