Setbacks :(

So yeah. About that SuperHouseWifeMom thing. Well there was a little setback today.

You see, last night around 10 pm I was sooooo cold. Our house is very old and drafty. I was literally wearing jeans, socks, shoes, 3 shirts and a sweater. I decide to make myself some decaf coffee to warm up. But as usual I wasn't paying attention or thinking about what I was doing and I made espresso. That didn't turn out well. I was so wound tight that I was jiggling my leg non stop the whole time I was writing my blog last night. I didn't go to bed til 3:30.

I vaguely remember my alarm going off. I always set 2 alarms because I am so afraid of oversleeping. Well I guess when the first alarm went off I thought “Oh I can get another 5 minutes of sleep” and fell back asleep. And never heard my second alarm. Oops.

I woke up at 10:00 on the nose. I knew right away that I was late. And by the time that I would've gotten Lily fed and ready for school it would have been too late to sign her in. So we are having a mommy/daughter day. Which at this point we have only eaten breakfast and now we are both on the computer.

However after playing some Black Ops we are gonna clean. I just have to figure out a way for her to believe this is a good and fun idea! :)

I really need to go see my mom. She had surgery yesterday and she is in the hospital for another few days. I really hate going to the hospital. First of all I would have to drive there. Then I would have to find a parking space and walk into the building where I am sure there is way over 1000 people. That terrifies me. The way normal people are terrified of ax murderers or serial rapists. I am terrified of people in general.

I am much better than I was before though. For 5 weeks last year I didn't leave my house. I was too scared of the world to even think about venturing out into it. Sadly this led to me losing my full time job and also my part time job.

Now I am still terrified of the world, but I do go out in it sometimes. I work 4 days a week at the studio, so that gets me out there. However the whole time I am driving places I am so freaked out. I look for cars or trucks to be pulling out of nowhere or swerving into my lane. I picture cops around every corner who will pull me over and arrest me for just looking like I am afraid of the world. I sometimes look for airplanes falling out of the sky. But that's only when I'm sitting at a stoplight. Or waiting in traffic.

Yeah I'm a freak of nature. But I'm giving it a good effort. :)

Oh. In closing I wanted to let you know that at the suggestion of my Itsy Bitsy Buddy, I will be writing a blog about how Zak and I met and ended up together. It will be broken into a lot of parts I'm sure. But I will get to that soon I promise! 

And about the picture above.  I don't know why I feel compelled to put pics up, but I do. I try to make them having something to do with my blog, but sometimes they are just random like me.  I just google a phrase that I make up and see what happens.  Like today's phrase is super fluffy bunny face.