People That Annoy Me Pt 2: Pay Attention To Me Patty

Patty has issues.  And Patty let's you know about these issues.  Quite often.  You can usually pick out Patty by her rotating group of close friends.  She is constantly sucking them in and spitting them out.  No, not spitting them out.  That's not correct.  They usually run screaming out of the rotating door. 
   
Patty sucks you in by making you feel sorry for her.  Oh she has such a terrible life.  This week her dog got hepatitis on Monday, she ran out of gas on the highway on Tuesday, on Wednesday she got food poisoning and Thursday she had a complete mental breakdown because she heard a song on the radio that made her think of her poor dog with hepatitis and she just couldn't take it anymore.  And all her friends have abandoned her and she is miserable. 

Once you are sucked into the trap you are helpless.  If you are like me you try to make poor Patty's life better and less miserable.  You spend weeks chatting with her and spending time working tirelessly to improve her world.   Sadly with Pay Attention to Me Patty you cannot reach this goal.  She is in need of constant attention.  If you fix her life, then she won't have anything to use in her quest for constant attention.  And then you realize that most of the stuff that she used to get your attention was either by her doing or greatly exaggerated.  The dog with hepatitis?  Turns out it's just a gluten allergy.  The reason she ran out of gas?  Cuz she was too lazy to stop for it.  Food poisoning?  Nope it was a hangover from the pity me bender the night
before.  And well the song that caused the mental breakdown, that was just made up. 

Soon you will find yourself pawing at the rotating door of this friendship, struggling furiously to get out.  Luckily for you, another sucker comes along and pushes you out the door.  FREEDOM!!!!!

You Cannot Make Quick Decisions With Anxiety

So we were all here at the house.  Me, Zak, Corey and Missy.  Well they decide to go to Taco Bell.  Now I hadn't planned on leaving the house tonight.  My anxiety started screaming, so I declined to ride along.  However my anxiety was like "oh hell no!  she ain't gettin away w/that shit!!"  and attacked me again.  Suddenly I realized I was home all by myself and I DEFINITELY had not planned on that!  And that is waaaay scarier!  Ugh!  And to top it off apparently the bell on the header of the Taco Bell page rings if you scroll over it.  And it sounds so ominous!  I gotta stop typing now to go make sure all the locks on the doors and the windows are secure.  Then hide in my comforter burrito cocoon til they return!!

People That Annoy Me Part 1: Awesome Al

The first thing you NEED* to know about Awesome Al is that he is awesome!!! And he will make sure you know this by talking about his awesome self for longer periods of time than you ever thought possible. You went to the grocery store today, well guess what? So did Al! And he did it way awesomer than you ever could! You pumped gas today? Well so did Al and he pumped a full tank 15.879 seconds faster than your sorry ass did! You were in Vietnam? Well so was Al! And he fought off 800 Viet Kong in 16 minutes with nothing but his hands. His hands are a lethal weapon and you should be in awe of his mightiness and be terrified for your life. You volunteer at your local children's hospital? Well guess what? Al successfully cured all childhood illnesses in a matter of 3 weeks. Al is that awesome!! 
 Most of the time Al's tales of awesomeness are false.  Or greatly exaggerated.  But sadly you cannot point this out to Al because it will cause a mental collapse and he will compensate by telling even more awesomer stories.  And trust me, you don't want that!!
*I emphasized the word need because only Awesome Al feels that you need to know this information.

Zynga and ADD Running Amok!!

I've decided to write this post in an effort to explain the Non Zynga People of the World, why I enjoy playing all the Zynga games. It's not an effort for people to stop making fun of me. In fact I will probably be made fun of more or people will feel pity for me. You may also think I am insane. Or all of the above.

I stopped typing this about 30 min ago so that I could go play Cityville. I'm pretty sure this will happen quite often throughout the writing of this. No not pretty sure, quite definitely beyond a doubt sure. I wish I was resourceful enough to find better adjectives, but I'm not. Gotta get back to my Cityville!!

Also I felt it necessary to share that I am also eating Taco Bell and a cupcake. Which is delicious. Thank you Mrs Beav!! Hmmm I wonder if she even reads my blog? Maybe I should mention to her that I mentioned her.

Oh and Golden Grahams. I had some of those too. I sound like a pig, but honestly I'm not. I've just been distracted that long that I had a meal and a snack. And I'm exhausted for some reason. I mean I slept 10 hours last night (which was a treat let me tell you) and then I ran one errand today. And went to Taco Bell. Seriously. Not much of a challenge even for me. I could have totally done 1 more thing w/o getting tired.

Well I guess Zak thought I needed finish this blog cuz he restarted the router. Or something I didn't understand. And I just read through what I've already written and am laughing. This turned into a story of my everyday ADD self, instead of why I love Zynga. Whatev.

Ok here are the reasons I love playing Zynga games.

1. Accomplishments. I get shit done in my virtual world. I am an amazing organizer and take care of all my crops, businesses and people.
2. Rewards. I do stuff and am rewarded with more stuff!! I love it. I get all kinds of free meals, businesses, homes, toys and other really nifty stuff.
3. I get to brag about my wonderful accomplishments and show them off to my friends. Adversely my friends get to show off to me too. This sometimes makes me jealous and work harder. I get more shit done!!
4. I am so organized. I know I mentioned that in #1, but I needed to emphasize it here. My farm, frontier and city are all very organized. No messiness here!!
5. My characters are skinny, beautiful and have great hair. No zits or runny noses. No coughing fits. Heck, they never go to the bathroom or have to shower. And most importantly my awesome little characters never feel anxiety about the things around them. Nothing is scary to them!
6. I am rich and successful. I have so much money!! And I can spend it on stupid things. Like gum drop fences or 8 million potted plants.
7. No real responsibilities. Heck if I miss a day it doesn't matter. I can just fix everything that withered or died. It's amazing!!!
8. I am showered in gifts every day!!! All my friends love me!! They give me lots of gifts all day every day!! I am so popular!
9. I can adjust the weather. If I'm tired of snow, poof I can make it grassy or sandy or whatever I choose. Also it never rains!! It never looks really hot either. I've never seen any of my characters sweating.

I am sure there are more reasons, but these are the ones I can think of. I hope you enjoy the attached picture!! :) 

Plan B

So I was gonna finish my blog I started yesterday.  But I got drunk instead.  So here is a picture of my dream house.  I hope you enjoy.  

I Feel Special!!

OMG!!  I have 6 followers now!!  I'm so excited!  I definitely shrieked w/excitement when I saw that.  So I've decided this...Once I have 10 followers I will write a little bit about each of you describing my favorite memory.  :)  Yay!!!  Except I'm a little confused who "neongirlie96" is.  I know a girl that drives a Neon...is this you?!  :)

Keepin It Classy...Windsor Style

Sometimes I feel that it's hard to explain how life in Windsor really is.  This pic explains it all.  Zak and Corey waiting for the battery on the van to charge.  I'm not sure why there isn't a cooler of beer and a spit can beside them.  Maybe cuz they didn't have enough time?  You can click on the pic if you need to see my comments more closely.

Yeah This Again

So I've decided that my problem is the fact that I am enjoying wallowing too much.  It gives me an excuse to avoid being a grown up.  So tomorrow I'm gonna be a grown up and I don't care how hard it is for me.  I don't care if it exhausts me.  I'm gonna do it.  

Here's the plan:

7:30:  Wake up.  Eat breakfast like a normal human being.  Also shower for the first time since...uh Thursday? 

8:30:  After applying make up and doing hair and possibly accessorizing leave for work.  

12:00 Leave work after doing an efficient and organized job.  

12:15: Return home and do grown up stuff like dishes, laundry and all the other grown up stuff I've avoided in the past week(s?).  

After that:  Groceries and date night w/ma honey after Lily leaves for her sleepover.  

That doesn't sound too difficult I know.  But it will be a challenge and if I accomplish it all I will continue to do it.  Monday.  I'll need a day to rest from all that effort. 

The Story of Zak and Toby Pt 1

Maybe I should start this w/a little background about myself at this time in my life.

I was single and very angrily single. Not gonna get into the details of that. But I was bitter/angry single girl. I worked full time during the week and at that point Jeremy was getting Lily every Saturday night and sometimes Fridays too. So if Lily wasn't home I'd go out w/my friend Ang and party it up.

And when I say party it up I mean get FUBAR and attempt to find happiness w/a man at a bar. Yeah not the best plan, but I've never said I'm a good planner.

I did meet a guy around December. Not sure of the date cuz yeah I was always wasted. We started spending some time together, but be both knew this wasn't gonna go anywhere. I was aware of that from the start, but I thought I could make him want to be with me. Lol...again not a good plan. I did the opposite of that and lots of drama ensued.

So anyway...I met Zak around the same time I met Other Guy. Ang and I would go to the diner after the bar and he was always there. The first time we had a conversation it went a little like this. I know it didn't go exactly like this cuz I was drunk and half asleep in a booth.

Zak: (randomly out of nowhere) Why do you put up that wall?

Me: What wall?

Zak: The wall that keeps everyone out. You try to pretend you're something that you're not.

Me: Shut the F*ck up and get away from me!

Romantic isn't it? I started referring to him as “The Creepy Guy From the Diner” due to that conversation and the fact that he wore sandals all the time. I hate feet and the fact that his were visible made me not like him even more.

So we'd run into each other every weekend and every weekend I would try to avoid him like the plague. But he had a boner (yeah that's a classy term right there) for my friend Ang so he would always come say hi. I would usually be rude or just flat out ignore him. Bitter and angry didn't like this guy who could see right through me. And the fact that I could sense his presence before he would appear made me mad too. I hated being aware of him. I hated that he could see through me. I know it was because I was scared that he could see the real me that I tried to hide from the world. I desperately wanted to keep her hidden.

Fast forward to like March something. The weekend of hell as I call it. Friday night I go out w/Ang and of course we end up at the diner. Somehow a giant argument starts between a bunch of us over drama that wasn't really worth it. At the time it may have felt like it was important, but it wasn't. We ended up outside arguing (no physical fighting) and we were right in front of the window where Zak was sitting. Drama goes on and on and I'm just leaning against the wall bored w/the whole thing and wanting to go home. Zak and his table of friends are watching us and that kinda annoyed me so I pressed my boobs against the window as a distraction. Not bare boobs of course. I'm not that classless. Lols were had etc...

The next night same story same place except this time I'm front and center in the drama of the times. The aforementioned guy that I was actively trying to make love me was involved. The details aren't important, but I was wrongfully accused of something and that made me angry. I was ready to just shut out the world and live in a little bubble of me and my happy little wall world. But the fates had other plans...

I lived in my bubble world for about 2 days when randomly I decide to email Zak and ask him about something that had come up in conversation one time. I hadn't really been interested in the topic at that time, but for some reason now seemed like the time to care. By emailing him it started a 4 hour conversation in AIM and ended up w/us having a date at the end of the week.

Now this part is the one that's hard to explain. I was super excited about this date. I didn't know why, because up until this point I despised him. But it felt like this was something I was supposed to do. It was like the puzzle pieces of my life that I had strewn about were coming together. Not completely, more like I had just sorted out the outside pieces and they were waiting to be put together. That's the best example I can give of how I felt.

Ok I think this is a good place to stop right now. The next part will start the night before our first date.

Real World vs Toby World

After almost a full day of huge anxiety, it's kinda amusing to sit back and compare how things really were to how things appeared to me. 

So last night Zak went to Wal Mart with Missy.  Initially I was gonna go but the waves of anxiety overtook me and that wasn't happening.  So about an hour after they left I decided to go to bed.  I texted Zak.  Then like 3 minutes later I remembered something else to tell him.  So I texted him that too.  10 min later I have no response.  I'm laying in bed and imagining that something happened.  Maybe they had a wreck and he's dead.  I laid there and imagined all the scenarios of my future life w/o him.  It was ridiculous.  Then my phone goes off and it's Zak.  Obviously not dead.  

There's a few others in there but I'm skipping ahead to this one...they aren't that interesting or a bit too private to share.  

Lily and some other girls got invited to stay after school today for dinner and getting their hair, makeup and nails done.  After that they were going to the high school to see the musical.  Well my anxiety brain decided to make up a scenario that this was some sort of scam and she was actually getting kidnapped.  Yeah I spent most of the evening running scenarios of that through my head.  I can't tell you the relief that washed over me when I saw her when she got home.  I feel like such an idiot now.  

I wonder if one day this will all be gone?  Or will I live w/this forever.  The meds made this so much easier, but they also took the real me and hid me away under that haze of contentment.  Yes it made my day to day life much easier to handle, but it left me screaming inside too.  And honestly I can't tell you which situation is better.