People That Annoy Me Pt 2: Pay Attention To Me Patty

Patty has issues.  And Patty let's you know about these issues.  Quite often.  You can usually pick out Patty by her rotating group of close friends.  She is constantly sucking them in and spitting them out.  No, not spitting them out.  That's not correct.  They usually run screaming out of the rotating door. 
   
Patty sucks you in by making you feel sorry for her.  Oh she has such a terrible life.  This week her dog got hepatitis on Monday, she ran out of gas on the highway on Tuesday, on Wednesday she got food poisoning and Thursday she had a complete mental breakdown because she heard a song on the radio that made her think of her poor dog with hepatitis and she just couldn't take it anymore.  And all her friends have abandoned her and she is miserable. 

Once you are sucked into the trap you are helpless.  If you are like me you try to make poor Patty's life better and less miserable.  You spend weeks chatting with her and spending time working tirelessly to improve her world.   Sadly with Pay Attention to Me Patty you cannot reach this goal.  She is in need of constant attention.  If you fix her life, then she won't have anything to use in her quest for constant attention.  And then you realize that most of the stuff that she used to get your attention was either by her doing or greatly exaggerated.  The dog with hepatitis?  Turns out it's just a gluten allergy.  The reason she ran out of gas?  Cuz she was too lazy to stop for it.  Food poisoning?  Nope it was a hangover from the pity me bender the night
before.  And well the song that caused the mental breakdown, that was just made up. 

Soon you will find yourself pawing at the rotating door of this friendship, struggling furiously to get out.  Luckily for you, another sucker comes along and pushes you out the door.  FREEDOM!!!!!