The Story of Zak and Toby Pt 1

Maybe I should start this w/a little background about myself at this time in my life.

I was single and very angrily single. Not gonna get into the details of that. But I was bitter/angry single girl. I worked full time during the week and at that point Jeremy was getting Lily every Saturday night and sometimes Fridays too. So if Lily wasn't home I'd go out w/my friend Ang and party it up.

And when I say party it up I mean get FUBAR and attempt to find happiness w/a man at a bar. Yeah not the best plan, but I've never said I'm a good planner.

I did meet a guy around December. Not sure of the date cuz yeah I was always wasted. We started spending some time together, but be both knew this wasn't gonna go anywhere. I was aware of that from the start, but I thought I could make him want to be with me. Lol...again not a good plan. I did the opposite of that and lots of drama ensued.

So anyway...I met Zak around the same time I met Other Guy. Ang and I would go to the diner after the bar and he was always there. The first time we had a conversation it went a little like this. I know it didn't go exactly like this cuz I was drunk and half asleep in a booth.

Zak: (randomly out of nowhere) Why do you put up that wall?

Me: What wall?

Zak: The wall that keeps everyone out. You try to pretend you're something that you're not.

Me: Shut the F*ck up and get away from me!

Romantic isn't it? I started referring to him as “The Creepy Guy From the Diner” due to that conversation and the fact that he wore sandals all the time. I hate feet and the fact that his were visible made me not like him even more.

So we'd run into each other every weekend and every weekend I would try to avoid him like the plague. But he had a boner (yeah that's a classy term right there) for my friend Ang so he would always come say hi. I would usually be rude or just flat out ignore him. Bitter and angry didn't like this guy who could see right through me. And the fact that I could sense his presence before he would appear made me mad too. I hated being aware of him. I hated that he could see through me. I know it was because I was scared that he could see the real me that I tried to hide from the world. I desperately wanted to keep her hidden.

Fast forward to like March something. The weekend of hell as I call it. Friday night I go out w/Ang and of course we end up at the diner. Somehow a giant argument starts between a bunch of us over drama that wasn't really worth it. At the time it may have felt like it was important, but it wasn't. We ended up outside arguing (no physical fighting) and we were right in front of the window where Zak was sitting. Drama goes on and on and I'm just leaning against the wall bored w/the whole thing and wanting to go home. Zak and his table of friends are watching us and that kinda annoyed me so I pressed my boobs against the window as a distraction. Not bare boobs of course. I'm not that classless. Lols were had etc...

The next night same story same place except this time I'm front and center in the drama of the times. The aforementioned guy that I was actively trying to make love me was involved. The details aren't important, but I was wrongfully accused of something and that made me angry. I was ready to just shut out the world and live in a little bubble of me and my happy little wall world. But the fates had other plans...

I lived in my bubble world for about 2 days when randomly I decide to email Zak and ask him about something that had come up in conversation one time. I hadn't really been interested in the topic at that time, but for some reason now seemed like the time to care. By emailing him it started a 4 hour conversation in AIM and ended up w/us having a date at the end of the week.

Now this part is the one that's hard to explain. I was super excited about this date. I didn't know why, because up until this point I despised him. But it felt like this was something I was supposed to do. It was like the puzzle pieces of my life that I had strewn about were coming together. Not completely, more like I had just sorted out the outside pieces and they were waiting to be put together. That's the best example I can give of how I felt.

Ok I think this is a good place to stop right now. The next part will start the night before our first date.