The first thing you NEED* to know about Awesome Al is that he is awesome!!! And he will make sure you know this by talking about his awesome self for longer periods of time than you ever thought possible. You went to the grocery store today, well guess what? So did Al! And he did it way awesomer than you ever could! You pumped gas today? Well so did Al and he pumped a full tank 15.879 seconds faster than your sorry ass did! You were in Vietnam? Well so was Al! And he fought off 800 Viet Kong in 16 minutes with nothing but his hands. His hands are a lethal weapon and you should be in awe of his mightiness and be terrified for your life. You volunteer at your local children's hospital? Well guess what? Al successfully cured all childhood illnesses in a matter of 3 weeks. Al is that awesome!!
Most of the time Al's tales of awesomeness are false. Or greatly exaggerated. But sadly you cannot point this out to Al because it will cause a mental collapse and he will compensate by telling even more awesomer stories. And trust me, you don't want that!!
*I emphasized the word need because only Awesome Al feels that you need to know this information.
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